Dear Bearded Confidant,

I need some advice.  My dominant sexual attraction is for masculine men. Who wouldn't love the warmth and beauty of a hot male?  I know that love towards men is perfectly natural, but I have certain barriers in the way. Unfortunately, I have grown up in a society that deems attraction to men as 'wrong,' 'evil,' and 'disgusting.' I am a little frustrated by this belief.  It is etched into my lived experience and is impinging upon my ability to be me.  I have a strong desire to feel totally comfortable with my male attractions.  Any suggestions on how I can fulfill my desires?

Dear Nathan,

Our culture is pretty mixed up when it comes to sexuality.  Both athletes and prostitutes sell their bodies for money, but which do people criticize?  The prostitutes, of course.  Boys grow up hearing frequent jokes about homosexuality, and they are even taught through the media that the male body is shameful. (For example, how many times do you see a man's penis in a Hollywood movie, compared to a woman's breasts and genitals?  Nudity is common in movies, but not penises.)  Additionally, societal hang-ups about homosexuality make it nearly impossible for two men of any sexual orientation to casually show physical affection for one another.  Therefore, young men who might be gay typically have little to no experience even hugging another man.  Your heart is telling you that you want masculine relationships, but your brain is telling you what it has been programmed to tell you, that your desires are unnatural.  In fact, nothing could be more natural than for two men to share their masculine impulses with each other.  Just as it is natural for men to express their shared impulses through sports (such as masculine aggression and cunning), it is natural for them to experience their sensuality and sexuality together.  Man-to-man physical contact is particularly easy and natural because every man is intimately familiar with his own body, so he automatically understands how his buddy's penis operates and how the male mind works.  Every man knows how it feels to be horny, to want to stroke off, to want to fuck.  Every man knows that sometimes a guy just needs to let off a little steam through his throbbing cock.  Exploring these feelings with a fellow man helps you to learn more about yourself, as you will see the similarities as well as the variations in sexual expression.  Man-to-man sexual contact also offers other experiences.  It allows one of you to be passive while the other is active.  Maybe your buddy wants to penetrate you, and you can feel what it's like to give in to a strong, powerful man in the throes of passion.  Or maybe you want to dominate your buddy and show him how much pleasure he can receive in his ass as you stimulate his prostate with your cock.  Or maybe you both want to play the active role, rubbing your two cocks together as you wrestle in a sweaty mound on the floor, then sucking each other at the same time in a hot 69 position.  The possibilities are endless and unique, and there's nothing like sharing an experience with someone who knows exactly what you're feeling.

A Netbuddy made this observation: "I think that intimacy with another guy has a hormonal process that is different than with a woman, and that any man that goes without it is missing something POWERFUL!  It's my bias, or course.  Many would argue that I'm missing something by not doing the woman thing, and they're probably right.  But I'm a happier camper hangin' with guys, and I've always been that way.  As for sexual identity, what a mine field.  In America we use mansex to sell everything, both to men (especially to men) and women.  Ads everywhere show male sexuality in relation to a product or service.  Yet men are still terrified to be close to other men.  A guy I know at work is being put through the wringer by his soon to be ex-wife.  We've always had an affection for each other, and I hadn't seen him for a long time.  When I finally saw him the other day, I asked how he was doing.  I extended a hand for a shake, but he went for a tight embrace.  I LOVE that!"